Big Booby Bitchin'

To those who know me well this post has been a long time coming. I actually had to have a little debate with myself on whether or not to blog about this because I was 100% aware that mentioning my bra size/boobs on the internet could have been completely misinterpreted. For some strange reason girls openly discussing the collection of mammary glands, breast tissue and fat we have placed on our fronts is still somewhat taboo.

I live in a country where the faintest bit of sunshine sees all men immediately remove their t-shirts and expose their breast tissue yet stating that my boobs make it impossible to find flattering tops can still be widely interpreted as overtly sexual or attention seeking. Go figure. I was also aware that some people would have issues with me openly discussing my boobs and find this difficult to reconcile with the feminist blogging I'm partial to.

An e-card to sum up my feelings towards this blog

Well, sucks to be them. If I was complaining about being flat chested people wouldn't even consider my behaviour to be sexualised or anti-feminine. If I was a boy complaining that my pecs were too large people would probably think I was a bit of a douche yet they still wouldn't interpret my behaviour as either of the above. So here and without shame is a blog on a subject many women can relate to. The pain of having big boobs.

Big boob bitch #1: Cost

As you might have learnt from my blog so far, I love a bargain. Unfortunately shopping for bras in larger sizes means a lot of money spent. I'm sure they try to justify this with the classic line they roll out for justifying outrageous prices on plus size clothing 'it requires more fabric'. Well for someone who has a large back and cup size, I can see why that's true, however I happen to be (depending on my pizza consumption for the week) a 30-32 back size. Quite small when you think about it.


However unlike the less chesty girls out there and despite my small back size I'm still expected to shop in 'specialist' bra shops where bigger sizes are accommodated for but at ridiculous prices. The average cost of one of my bra's is £25, I can pick up knickers for a quid. There's a clear disparity here. When I whine about this my friends who are also blessed in the chest area yet have bigger back sizes often say they can find their size quite easily in any high street store from Topshop to Primark. These friends can pick up 2-5 bras for the cost of my one bra.

Why? Because shops are yet to accept that the typically 'small' sized back measurements such as 28-32's aren't just accompanied by a AA cup size. In my house last year all 3 girls were a G or H cup yet none of our back sizes went beyond a 30 (and no, as far as we knew there wasn't anything in the water). Even those that have accepted still struggle to provide as wide a range and the prices are still much higher. I eagerly await the day I can walk into all high street retailers and find my cup size, until then I shall continue to be bankrupted by my boobs.

Big boob bitch #2: People's opinions of me change

This is something I noticed a lot when I was younger. As I developed boobs quite young (I say developed-in my mind I woke up one day when I was 13 and was suddenly a C-cup)I became accustomed to people thinking I was older because of my lady lumps. This ranged from the advantageous not being ID'd as much as my friends to the awkward having friend's older brothers act slightly inappropriate in face of an awkward 13 year old with Katie Price like assets.


One thing however, that people always seem to assume, is that having big boobs somehow makes me , for want of a better phrase, a bit of a slut. Due to the fact my boobs are wildly out of proportion to the rest of me , finding clothing to fit them and flatter the rest of me is quite frankly, a bit of a nightmare. And admittedly sometimes I'll go with flattering my waist and being slightly less demure that I wished when choosing a dress or top. This has resulted in a lot of comments from the mildly amusing 'looking covered up today Liss' to the slightly dodgy to the downright scary experience when someone heckled me in the street for daring to show off my assets.

Yes, a warning to flat chested girls. You may be conditioned to think by society that having a decent cup size would make you more confident and help you fill out clothes better but as soon as you do you're expected to cover up. I once had someone comment on a holiday photo of me and a friend with a smaller cup size stating 'trust you to be the one with your boobs out.' Well, actually I was wearing a bikini that fit me (size 14 top from primark as I refuse to buy the extortionately overpriced bra size bikinis available) and around 80% of my breast was covered, about the same ratio as my pal stood next to me. However mine looked bigger because, quite simply, they are. And apparently this was my fault...

Big Boob Bitch #3: I'm fat-or am I?

This is something I never really thought about until I got to uni and I encountered a lot of people who were as top heavy as myself (take note bra shops, we are not a minority). I have one friend who constantly tries to loose weight despite having the perfect body because her boobs refuse to shrink. My boobs have remained bigger than me despite the emergence of some hips since starting uni, so i'm still out of proportion. The thing is, boobs aren't always just fat. There's breast tissue and glands in there too and no amount of exercise will get rid of those parts of your tata's.


And speaking of exercise, I was informed by a (small boobed) smiling assistant in a shop the other day that it would 'probably be best' if I wore two sports bras* and did I know that due to my cup size I needed a high impact bra no matter what the exercise? No, I didn't but thanks for letting me know that even running for the bus could require me strapping my boobs in like a lunatic in a straight jacket.

Having big boobs rules out a lot of different style of clothing. I'm a big fan of v-necks as they don't force my puppies to live the life of Chilean miners,seeing no end to the enforced darkness that high neck tops cause. However these rev up the slut claims from friends, family and passing strangers so they are a bit of a minefield. My biggest issue this season has been the amount of high neck dresses available. I don't know who these dresses are supposed to suit, they dwarf flat chests and make my rather rounded one look like some sort of ski resort, all steep inclines and mountainous.

I know i'm not fat but really, boobs, give me a break.

Big Boob Bitch #4: Simple tasks are nigh on impossible


Now allow me a little self indulgent moan here but did you know that I can't remember the last time I comfortably crossed my arms? That at certain angles I can't see my feet as my boobs are in the way and last time I ran downstairs sans bra I actually ended up with bruised ribs? Now I know these aren't major things and I probably sound like a whiny little girl but I know many girls will sympathise with me. On a daily basis I will encounter about 10 simple tasks that I can't complete because my tits make my life a living hell a bit awkward.


Here is a list of just some of the woes of having big boobs:
Sleeping on your front: Computer says no. Hugs-awkward and actually a little bit painful. Laying down-do you want to be suffocated? Lifting- I already have a lot of weight up front, leaning forward and adding more just leads to toppling. Under-wire. Mine once snapped and came out my bra, I left it on the kitchen table and I later heard a visitor ask why there was a horseshoe in our kitchen...
Bra Straps-No delicate bits of silk for me, no sir, you could fucking abseil a rock face with my bra straps. Padding in D+ bras- FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WHY?! Washing up-fancy some wet underboob? Losing things-I once found an earring I thought was long gone in my cleavage. Button Down shirts-If you hate breathing out then these are the clothing item for you! Have you ever tried packing 10 32H bras in a suitcase? There isn't a bag in the world big enough to cope with that kind of shit. Boob clap-Google it. Bra burn- you haven't known pain until your bra has started to wane in face of your boobs and it starts to rub/cut you. Necklaces-a big chest's worst enemy. Rib tattoos-I have one but can see it? Of course not.

A debilitating illness? No. Really annoying? Yes.

Big Booby Bitch #5: On a serious note


Street harassment is an issue for all women and something that I've blogged about before and my boobs are most definitely a factor in any street harassment I'm subject to. I've had men shout pretty horrific things at me in the street that I won't write here and as mentioned before people like to assume certain things about me because I happen to have a larger than average cup size. I can't do anything about this, it's out of my control, yet I still have to suffer the heckles of strangers who know nothing about me. Some go even further.


I've had people I don't know grab hold of me in the street and one 'friend' recently groped me at a party whilst my boyfriend was across the other side of the room. I don't know wear people get the idea that my boobs are public property from but maybe it's the same principle that makes people grab pregnant women's stomachs (note:anyone who does this to me when I am prego will be faced with my hormonal wrath.) This isn't okay and it can't be justified by the fact my boobs happen to me a little more obvious than some others.

Whilst they make my every day a little bit difficult and cost a lot to support it is undoubtedly this part about having big boobs that I hate the most. Unwanted stares, being shouted at in the street and having people think they can grab me whenever they like are now more of an annoyance than anything else but younger me really struggled to cope with this. To rephrase one of the popular phrases from the toronto slut walk 'my great big chest is not a yes'.


So, I did it. A whole blog post on boobs. Are you a girl with big boobs who feels my pain? Are you a girl with smaller boobs who is currently wanting to punch me in the face for complaining about mine or are you now happier with your small but perfectly formed lady lumps? Let me know, you know I love to hear from you guys!


*p.s big boobs, small boobs, medium boobs, fake boobs, real boobs get yourself a sports bra (or 2) from the brilliantly named Boobydoo. Pretty much the most comprehensive selection of sports bras available anywhere!

10 comments:

  1. 'you could fucking abseil a rock face with my bra straps.' amen sister. seriously upsetting that i can't rock the no-bra backless dress look. practically weep when my friends come back with gorgeous bra's from primark for around a fiver and i have to stick with the infinitely plainer yet triple priced m&s offerings.

    totally with you on the padding in D+ bra's, ain't nobody need that shit.

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  2. There have been so many beautiful backless dresses this season but if I invested then I'd have to spend the whole night making only very slight movements for fear of injuring myself/someone else.

    Padding on D+ bras is the epitome of 'ain't nobody got time for that'. Take the padding out, save some money on materials and charge me less for the bra!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Girl I have been waiting for a post like this all my life! I'm a 34DD/32E, so being as short as I am (just over 5 foot) and how annoyingly skinny I am - my boobs are hugely out of proportion and it is hard to find clothes that I look good in, let alone fit in properly.

    All of the things you have said above I can completely relate to! Trying to buy a bra that fits me securely is next to impossible. The other day I was in a shop and I picked up a bra that was like a 32C and it was £7, I picked up the same style in my size and it was over £30. Absolute joke. One thing I hate, is that they don't make flattering bras for women over the size of a C. Because my boobs are slightly bigger why do I have to wear boring white granny bras, when all my friends, who are just a few sizes smaller than me, get to wear sexy underwear. It is completely unfair! When are shops going to realise that we are not the minority here? We should be treated the same as someone with a smaller bust - same prices, same styles. It is ridiculous!

    This is a great post and honestly, you couldn't of put these points any better xx

    www.poptartsandsexx.blogspot.co.uk

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Haha glad you enjoyed! It's honestly ridiculous. We're peddled this lie that shops like Bravssimo and La Senza are for us but their bra's just aren't feasibly achievable for most budgets. Because of the small back size thing I can often compare my bra to say a 36C which , because it's a smaller cup size, will be prettier, cheaper and more readily available!

      If uni goes wrong for me my future is definitely in cheap bras for big boobed ladies haha xxx

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  4. Oh my god, this post is my bible. I couldn't agree more with #2, it's unfair that we are forced to feel as though wearing a tight top will cause people to think of us as 'slutty' just because we fill it out more than others.
    Bra makers should try taking the padding out of the cup and using it on the god damn bra strap. I think my shoulders are permanently indented...

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    Replies
    1. It's ridiculous! I get a lot of stuff said to me if I wear a v-neck about 'popping out' and that but the reality is that high necked clothing draws way way more attention to my baps than anything low cut ever could.
      I don't want to look like a snow plough and I shouldn't be forced to wear clothes that are too big for me just because one part of my body is slightly bigger.

      Shoulder indents have become a normal part of my anatomy I swear...

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  5. i am so far removed from this problem, I genuinely googled 'boop clap'. Teensy boobs have problems too, but they don't sound as painful or costly as yours, you have my sympathy :(

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  6. I despise the stigma attached to having big boobs, the whole, if you have big boobs your a slut thing really gets to me. However Boobs unite! love your blog and will be following for sure! x
    http://jordansbeautybank.blogspot.co.uk

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  7. Liss, one day you and I will unite and take over the world, one 28GG bra at a time. It still hurts me to acknowledge that size. X

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  8. I'm a 30G/28H and I think it's ridiculous.. I come from a big-boobed family but the rest are overweight so it sort of balances out, and their bra sizes don't sound anywhere near as extreme as mine, but I'm only around a 28 inch waist (estimating with a ruler as I don't have a tape measure) and clothes that fit and show off my waist are always far too tight on my boobs and hips (I like to call myself an 'extreme hourglass'..!) but then when a top or dress finally fits my boobs and hips it never shows off my waist so I end up just looking pudgy... :(
    Shopping is a nightmare and I often end up buying baggy off-the-shoulder tops as they are the only ones currently where you can see I have boobs but they're not all out on display as I get some very strange looks even when I just wear a normal v neck or tank top... :(
    Thirdly: pricing. I only buy bras from Bravissimo and they're easily £30 each, but my mum treated me to the luxury of a PJ top that actually supports my boobs, and it cost £26! Ridiculous when 'normal'sized girls could buy a PJ top and bottoms set for a tenner or less..
    Sorry, just had to get my rant out! And I would love it if you were to create your own line of cheap clothes for larger chested females!

    ReplyDelete

I appreciate all of your lovely comments and try to reply to them all if I have the time but if I don't reply that doesn't mean it didn't put a smile on my face

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